Ronnieisms

I MISS MY HONEY. SHE WAS KIDNAPPED BY A BUNCH OF FRIENDS AND WHISKED AWAY TO SOMEWHERE IN THE SOUTH CALLED FLA. I KNEW SHE WAS TRYING TO GET AWAY TO FIND HER FORTUNE BUT IT WOULD ONLY HAVE BEEN A SHORT WOK. I HOPE HER GANG, THE CRIPS, DON'T GET IN A LOT OF TROUBLE WHILE THERE, BUT I'VE ALREADY INFORMED THE AUTHORITIES TO BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR A VAN LOADED WITH A GAGGLE OF WOMEN CONSTANTLY GIGGLING. THIS VAN SHOULD BE SHAKING DOWN THE HIGHWAY SOMETIME THIS MORNING HEADING TOWARDS A MALL THEY PLAN TO HIT AND WALK OUT WITH AS MANY BAGS AS THE BAGS CAN CARRY. YOU WILL NOTICE THAT THE VAN WILL SIT LOWER TO THE GROUND AFTER THEY LEAVE THAT LOCATION. NO ONE IS SAFE WHEN THAT GROUP GETS TOGETHER, I FEEL FOR FLA. WHEREVER THAT IS. I JUST HOPE THAT THEY HAVE FUN WHILE IT LASTS NO MATTER HOW LONELY I AM. SO PLEASE BRING HER AND HER STOOL BACK, THEY'RE BOTH MISSED.

I DON'T USUALLY DESCRIBE DAVE AS MY STEPSON SINCE HIS MOTHER AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR ALMOST 23 YEARS AND HER CHILDREN HAVE BECOME LIKE MY OWN. THE FEELINGS THAT I HAVE FOR ALL THREE OF HERS AND TWO OF MINE ARE NO DIFFERENT. WE ARE ONE FAMILY AND THE CHILDREN KEEP TRYING TO DO MORE FOR US OLD FOLKS THAN NECESSARY.

BUT, THIS IS ABOUT HIS NEW FRIEND, A WOMAN THAT CAN BEST BE DESCRIBED AS A LADY. THE GREATEST THING IS, HOW THE CHILDREN HAVE TAKEN TO HER AND SHE TO THEM. I WOULDN'T COME OUT AND SAY THAT MY GRANDKIDS ARE A LITTLE SPOILED BUT SINCE THEIR PARENTS DIVORCE THEY'VE FOUND OUT HOW TO WORK THE SYSTEM. I LOVE THEM WITH ALL MY HEART BUT I GET FRUSTRATED WHEN THEY DON'T EAT AND I CAN'T SAY ANYTHING, BUT I GUESS IT'S BECAUSE THE WAY MY PARENTS RAISED ME AND TOLD ME THAT "THE PEOPLE IN EUROPE WERE STARVING" AND I SHOULD FINISH EVERYTHING ON MY PLATE. ALSO, IF I OPENED MY MOUTH MY WIFE WOULD GIVE ME HER (DON'T INTERFERE) LOOK.

BACK TO MY SON'S NEW LADY. THE MOST ASTONISHING THING ABOUT HER IS THAT SHE KEEPS KOSHER. THAT'S NOT THE ASTONISHING THING, WHAT IS IS THAT DAVID HAS DISCOVERED HIS JEWISHNESS AND SO HAVE HIS CHILDREN. SHE'S CUTE, SHE'S SMART, AND SHE'S IN LOVE WITH OUR SON AND I BELIEVE HIS FEELINGS ARE THE SAME.

AS LONG AS HE AND THE KIDS ARE HAPPY, MY WIFE AND I ARE HAPPY AND THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN THAT.

Twenty three months ago I became a great grandpa. I never thought anything could beat the feeling I had when I held my first grandson in my hands. I remember the nurse coming out with the baby and putting him in my arms instead of my son's, thinking I was the Father. The tears swelled up in my eyes and my body shook with a sensation I first felt when my daughter was born and again when my son, now a Father and a grandfather himself was born.

I look at my Great grandson Connor and I see four generations and the continuation of the family name. I've nicknamed him the "Bullvan" a little bull that runs like a fullback. Just having this little hunk run around my apartment has become one of the highlights of my life. The only negative is that he's about 35 lbs and it's hard for me to lift him also I'm afraid I might squeeze him too tight. His cheeks look like they're full all the time with the custest dimples. OK I'll stop, but I will add his photo so whoever reads this can see why I'm so proud of him.

One of my close friends is leaving for a job out west. I've only known he and his wife about 5 or 6 years but he's become one of those people that you feel like you've known all your life. He's brilliant, (very) funny, considerate and very caring.
His knowledge of football is legendary and well known in the Johnson County area. I'll miss him and his wife but hopefully we can keep in touch via the web and maybe during a trip. I might even purchase a video camera to put on my PC.
As you get older, opportunities don't come along that will offer you the income to sustain the lifestyle that you've become accustomed to. I know that he's going to do well in his new job and will probably be running the company within a year but I, we will miss them both very much. So, Burt and Bonnie, stay well, keep smiling and keep the farting to a minimum.

I'm a part time photographer that does photographs at Golf Tournaments. It's something that I've done for about 20 years and since I don't play golf, this is my way of participating. This week I shot a tournament put on by my local and very large sports radio station WHB 810 here in Kansas City. It's about the 5th or 6th time I've done it and it gets larger every year probably due to the increase of their audience. We, my Grandson Brad and I started at 7am setting up the equipment we use for printing on the spot so that we can deliver the photos before the golfers are even off the course. This was an AM; and PM event, the first teeing off at 7:30am and the second at 1:30pm. We were so lucky with the weather, it didn't hit the 100 degree mark as forecast because of some great cloudcover, in fact it was rather pleasant. Had some very brief showers in the afternoon but still pretty nice.
The best part of my whole day was that I got to spend it with my grandson. It's been a long time since we worked together and I really missed those experiences we shared. But whatever differences we had have been forgotten and we're back again as a family and I now have a great grandson Connor to enjoy. Not to mention Brad's other half Tanya and her gorgeous daughter Alysia, what a charmer.
The day was great, the photos turned out wonderful and Brad and I had a great day.

My grandson Josh got married in Ridgefield, Ct. over the 4th of July weekend. Our party of twelve arrived at LaGuardia airport where we rented a 12 pasenger van, got our maps, assigned a driver (me), a co-pilot and headed into New York traffic for Danbury. It was to be an easy 1 1/2 hour ride but turned out to be close to 4 hours.
We ran into some bumper to bumper traffic when we, I, turned the wrong way and spent over an hour trying to get off the south and head for the north. During that sojourn I found that I had accumulated a couple of additional co-pilots all talking at the same time. After a mild (really bad)outbreak, I assigned one person to give directions.
The signage on the New York highways actually suck. Many of the signs had the paint peeling off and you could not read the number or direction. I'm sure that people traveling that road daily don't even notice it but for greenhorns like myself, visiting the big city, we need all the help available and the NY Dept. of Transportation needs an awakening slap on their signage.
After arriving at our hotel in Danbury, about 2 hours late, part of our party left for a private dinner at the brides (Kate) home in Ridgefield. My Daughter and her Husband had already gotten there so the 4 of us went out to dinner since we were not invited to the other affair.
The following morning I drove the younger folks out to the house to spend the day swimming and frollicking at the house of the bride which was set in the beautiful town of Ridgefield. I felt as if I were driving through our Mo. Ozarks. The scenery was beautiful, the area green and lush and their home set in a quiet park like neighborhood.
The area for the wedding was around their pool located just outside the house and about 20 feet below, but the scene beyond was absolutely beautiful, like out of a movie. As my wife Norma said "I feel like I'm in the Sound of Music". Down below the pool area was an area that was about 2 football fields long and just as wide. A large white tent was set up for the dinner and dancing, another tent where the cooking was going on and a small tent that covered the outdoor porta potties (that were actually the nicest I've seen). I can only describe the scene as picturesque.
That evening we had the prenuptial dinner at an Italian restaurant in town that had set up an outdoor area for us like a small tent. Just before dinner started a downpour arrived and soaked a portion of the area. The storm only lasted a few minutes, everything was dried off and a great dinner, hosted by Bill and Gayle, the grooms parents.
Everything went great except for a few in the party that had a little too much to drink. A good time was had by all, especially those just mentioned, who will remain nameless.
The wedding took place the next evening, near sunset, around the pool with this great background. A photographers dream setting. I can't wait to see the photos, they'll have to be great. The food was abundant and very good, the music was provided by a DJ who played just the right music for all age groups. A great evening. a beautiful wedding and a lot of tears. Seeing a grandson getting married is a very special moment.

I grew up on Division Street in Chicago. The syreet that my sister Elaine Soloway writes about in her book "The Division Street Princess". I
I had many buddies that grew up together from playing in Humboldt Park or on the street, went to high school together and are now growing older in our 70s. It's nice to hear from these old friends especially from Harry Zwerling whom I spoke to a few days ago and now lives in Atlanta

and Fred Rosen of Sam's Wines and Spirits in Chicago, it's like speaking to family. It brings back the memories of childhood and what it was to all of us. We could go to the park without fear of getting shot, walk the strrets without getting mugged. Our parents were all hard working people trying to give their families more than what they had and for the most part, they succeeded. When we lose one of those old friends, a part of us dies also.